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"Thinking About God"

I'm as analytical as anybody. 
Left brain to a fault. 

I have studied a variety of religions and philosophies, 
and have read several translations of the Christian Bible, 
just to see where they vary. 
I struggled through The Dead Sea Scrolls 
to see what was left out. 

I've passed through stages of religious zeal, 
and have wrestled with this huge concept all my life. 

I think this is my final stage, 
because it's been with me for a long time now: 
I'm a believer. 

I'm not evangelistic about it. 
I don't debate it. 
If God exists 
I don't expect to meet Him on an intellectual level, 
and I'm not a member of any organized religion. 

I communicate, or commune, or pray, 
whatever we can call it, 
quite a bit, 
and I believe I get help. 

"The existence of God" is a futile debate. 
It can't be proved or disproved with physical arguments 
any more than the existence of other dimensions, 

Atheism is the easiest position to argue from. 
It puts the burden on the believer to prove the unprovable. 
I can't imagine the speed of light. 
It would be a conceit to think I could understand God. 

I'm not building a case. 
I'm just trying to share 
how I arrived at my present state of faith, 
wavering as it may be, 
on the chance it may help someone. 

It takes a little faith 
to drop good money into a vending machine. 
The only proof is when your candy drops out, 
AFTER you've made your leap. 

I sometimes have relapses into agnostic questioning. 
As Woody Allen put it: 
“I wish God would just clear his throat or something”. 

But, when I start a song or a story, 
I'm taking a faith leap of sorts. 
It may leave me hanging out there... 
but it usually doesn't. 

After all the years of study and debate, 
I've settled on the gut feeling I had in the very beginning. 
I am more comfortable since I stopped dissecting it. 

I tried it, 
and it works for me. 
That's enough. 

The simplest answer is usually right. 

© April 3, 2003 Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission.


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