"The Ballet Experiment"
by Jack Blanchard

Business was off at the ballet.
The theater manager was sharp enough
to realize that not everybody liked the ballet.
Some people liked trombone playing.

He did an extensive talent search
and found a ballerina who could play the trombone.
He offered her big bucks
if she could learn to do both at once.

The house was packed on opening night.
The ballerina danced "Swan Lake" brilliantly,
playing the trombone all the way.
Until the last act,
which called for a pirouette
and a seventh position trombone lick at the same time.

She tripped over another swan,
blew her teeth to the audience,
and did an ad-lib five minute pain dance.

The swans and the trombone had to be surgically separated
by a team of proctologists.

I know this story is true
because I was that ballerina.
Copyright © Jan. 10, 2005, Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission.