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"The Promo Letter"

    One way for recording artists to promote their latest release is to make 
contact with the radio station Music Director via the "Personal Note", which 
can be reproduced in quantity and mailed eleventh class to 12,563 deejays by 
a machine. The sender fondly believes that each recipient thinks he has been 
selected to be the artist's best friend. The radio people, being a kindly lot, 
play along with teh gag, often telling the artist that his or her record is 
doing great, meanwhile throwing it into the wastebasket.
    Misty and I have a new CD, and for show and tell, here's a copy of the letter 
we plan to send out. It is suitable for framing.


To our good friend (Insert your name):
    How have you been? How is your (a) wife? (b) husband? (c) dog? (d) cat? (e) bird? 
(Check appropriate loved one.)
    We hope you don't think this is a form letter, because we actually had this one 
copy printed just for you. If any other deejay claims he got one like it, he is 
obviously lying and is jealous of our relationship.
    We aren't promoting our CD here, we just don't want our buddy (Your name) to be 
caught not playing the hottest record in the industry.
    Just this week we were added to the playlists at radio stations WICK, WARP, WAD, 
and WIMP, in the east, and we picked up KRAB on the west coast.
    Don't forget, we love you more than all the other artists do, regardless of what 
they try to hand you in their letters. 
    But, don't let sentiment influence you. Play the record for its greatness alone, 
and we'll give you all the credit when we get the awards.
    Hoping your (Insert portion of your anatomy) is feeling better.
    We remain your loyal, patriotic, God-fearing, humble country cousins,
    Jack and Misty.

P.S. We've enclosed a nude photo of ourselves onstage at the Opry.

Copyright  November 21, 2000 by Jack Blanchard.


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