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"Potpourri" is French for "You poured soup in my pants." 
I thought it would make a classy column title. 

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I think we're going to drive to Tennessee 
without even a good reason. 
That's the way we like to travel. 
We'll just throw some jeans and sweatshirts in the car 
and take off Sunday. 

There won't be any emails from us for about 10 days. 
Please send any large emails (pictures or music) 

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A couple of minutes ago I got an email advertisement 
addressed to "Jack Blanchard". 
It guaranteed to increase, lift, and firm my breasts in 60 days 
or my money back!! 

Are these people spying on me? 

*     *     * 


"I'm gwine to Looziana..." 
Actually, I came from Alabama 
to have a banjo removed from my knee. 

"Stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni." 
Sounds like my ex-wife's cooking. 

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The amount of useless information you send and receive 
will expand to fit the time you spend online, 
and the speed of your connection. 

This is a perfect example. 

*     *     * 

Yesterday, in midtown, 
and at the height of the afternoon rush hour, 
hundreds of innocent people were shocked by a flasher. 

He stood at the curb in front of the city’s busiest bus stop, 
turned to face the crowd, 
opened his raincoat 
and exposed himself to all. 

An elderly lady 
who had been standing on a bus bench to see, 
called 911. 

By the time the police arrived 
the pervert had disappeared into the crowd. 

Police Sgt. Stan Jablonski told reporters 
that the culprit could be any one of the group still at the scene. 

He had this to say: 
“We could not make an arrest 
because none of the witnesses noticed his face.” 

Copyright © March 28, 2006, Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission. 


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