"My Dreams And Ambitions (update)"
Everybody should have a dream
or a life's ambition.
Something to look forward to.
I have several:
To hypnotize a chicken
and make it walk like a person.
To get back to my original weight...
7 pounds, 8 ounces.
To adopt an adult Korean.
To open a string of "Chicken In the Casket" restaurants.
To twist my neighbors dog
into a balloon animal.
To play "Flight of the Bumblebee"
on musical breast implants.
To spray WD-40 on a canary's perch
and see it hang like a bat.
To teach a squirrel to yodel.
To follow a police car
and make him nervous.
To sing "My Way"
to an imaginary ferret.
To get my elbows pierced
so I can wear cufflinks
with a short-sleeved shirt.
And then,
to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather...
not yelling and screaming,
like the passengers in his car
Copyright © July 2, 2005 Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission.
