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"My Dreams And Ambitions (update)"

Everybody should have a dream
or a life's ambition.
Something to look forward to.
I have several:

To hypnotize a chicken
and make it walk like a person.

To get back to my original weight...
7 pounds, 8 ounces.

To adopt an adult Korean.

To open a string of "Chicken In the Casket" restaurants.

To twist my neighbors dog
into a balloon animal.

To play "Flight of the Bumblebee"
on musical breast implants.

To spray WD-40 on a canary's perch
and see it hang like a bat.

To teach a squirrel to yodel.

To follow a police car
and make him nervous.

To sing "My Way"
to an imaginary ferret.

To get my elbows pierced
so I can wear cufflinks
with a short-sleeved shirt.

And then,
to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather...
not yelling and screaming,
like the passengers in his car

Copyright  July 2, 2005 Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission.


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