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"Moose Tracks On My Back"

I gained about 15 pounds in 2001.
I think it was some anti-crazy pills they had me on. 

I quit the pills the same year,
but haven't lost the weight.
I've tried everything
except diet and exercise. 

I'm dieting again,
and now I need those anti-nuts pills,
because all I can think about is ice cream!
It's more of an obsession when I'm on a diet.
I think it's "The Forbidden Fruit Syndrome". 

At 4 o'clock every morning
I walk a brisk mile,
and then go to bed.
That should count for something.
I'm doing my half. 

I take a Slim-Fast in the car when we go out
in case I get hungry.
Today, when I saw the Super Size Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
at the Wal-mart checkout counter,
Misty almost had to call Security.
She rushed me to the car for a Slim-Fast fix.
It's not the same. 

I saw a fifty year old hot fudge sundae
in an old black and white Jimmy Stewart movie,
and I WANTED it! 

I never realized how many food commercials are on TV.
As soon as one comes on
I start looking toward the refrigerator.
But, if I don't control myself,
I'll LOOK like a refrigerator.
I've got Moose Tracks on my back. 

Right now,
I could eat anything that doesn't have a Social Security card. 

 July 4, 2003 Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. 


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