"How Men And Women Watch TV"
He: I hope this movie isn't a lavish Broadway musical.
I'd rather watch milk sour.
She: Better than those car chases.
He: That guy's a hell of an actor.
She: He's wearing a toupee.
He: How do you know that?
She: I can tell.
He: You think everybody and his dog is wearing a hairpiece.
She: Look at the lip job they did on Geena Davis.
He: Aren't you interested in the story?
She: Lips and boobs. Lips and boobs. Talent not required.
He: Who's that guy?
She. He reminds me of some old time actor. What was his name?
He: He's got a gun! I think he's gonna kill that bank teller!
She: Did his name start with a "B"? Or was it an "M"?
He: Wow! He shot all of them, and he's getting away!
She: Was it Marcus something? Or Morris?
He: Please don't start going through the alphabet.
There's a car chase coming up.
She: Montgomery? No. That's not it.
He: Mathew, Medford, Mildew, Moe, Munchausen...For God Sake!
She: Murphy?
He: Aaaargh!
She: I like that song they’re playing in the background.
He: Whoa! They're gonna hit that ambulance!
She: That was a hit song. I wonder who's playing it?
He: Randy Newman. He plays all the movie songs.
Can we PLEASE watch the movie?
She: (Silence).
He: What are you doing?
She: Looking at the paper.
He: Your missing the best part!
She: I see it. I'm just reading this one page.
He: Oh, crap. A love scene.
She: Why did you turn the sound off?
He: I can't listen to all the heavy breathing.
She: You'd listen if you were doing it.
He: Well, that's the end of the picture. Did they go to jail?
I wonder why I can never keep up with the plot?
She: Wait. I want to read the closing credits.
He: Why:
She: To see when the picture was made.
The hairstyles looked like 1987.
He: What's the difference? They were all wearing toupees,
lip jobs, and breast implants. Even the dog.
She: I enjoyed that movie.
He: What's on next?
Copyright © October 23, 2005 by Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved.
