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"Help! I'm Being Held Hostage By Technology"

I once lived in peace and tranquility.
It was driving me nuts.
A rerun of Hawaii 5-0
was the high spot of my day.
A pint of ice cream was a really wild time!
Then somebody gave me a computing machine.
At first I was thrilled at the little chime
announcing that Windows is working.
I was easily entertained.
I bought a book:
"Computing for Basket Cases".
After about a year
I learned how to Copy and Paste.
I was proud of this accomplishment
and tried to work it into every conversation.
Now, three or four years later,
I'm zipping around the Internet like a mink
annoying the entire planet.
I know what URL and MP3 mean.
but the downside is this:
I'm addicted to it.
I have an addictive/compulsive personality.
One of anything is not enough,
and immediate gratification is too slow.
The upside is that I've made a lot of new friends,
and our career is getting back on track.
The latest adventure
is our new "Interactive" radio show.
I don't understand how this new technology works,
but I'm happy that it does....
most of the time.
Some genius has invented a way for us to talk, hear other people,
and play music right from our computer,
all at once.
The amazing part is that the music doesn't take time to load or buffer.
It's instantaneous.
We had Hal Willis as our special guest last Sunday,
and these other country recording stars are scheduled next:
Leroy van Dyke, Lloyd Green, Ernie Ashworth,
Mayf Nutter, Tommy Overstreet,  Jackie Burns,
and on and on.
Is Hawaii 5-0 still on?
If the Internet turns out to be just a passing fad,
I'll need to know.
If the horse dies,
get off.
But, until then, hang on.
It's a wild ride.

Copyright  April 22, 2004, Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission.


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