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"An American Dream"

If I were king... 
a captain of industry, 
a billionaire capitalist, 
a president, 
and wanted to stay king of my hill, 
here’s what I would probably do: 

I would charge the consumers more and give them less. 
If I couldn’t raise prices fast enough, 
I’d put merchandise like coffee in smaller containers 
without lowering the price. 

The masses have become used to creeping inflation, 
so I would creep my prices up at a respectable rate. 
It doesn’t mean I have to give them anything more. 

I would always think of the little people as “the masses”. 
It’s more pleasant to rob those I don’t see as real people. 

I would build them half-million-dollar houses 
made of particle board, screening, and vinyl stucco, 
and hang them together with staples. 
It’s become tradition. 

Another way to up profits 
(which, of course, is God’s will), 
is to fire most of my Customer Service and Support staff 
so that that my marks, I mean customers, 
will have to wait on the line 40 minutes 
to tell their problems to my computer. 
I never did like hearing customer’s complaints. 
They should just hand over their money and shut up. 

If my companies did anything to kill a few peons 
and they sued me, 
I would naturally blame the lawyers 
and pay my politicians to pass laws 
protecting me from my victims. 

I can downsize (not “fire”) all the employees I want, 
and call it efficiency. 
I can ship jobs overseas, 
and blame it on the unions. 

My governments can spend all they want 
as long as my companies and I get all we want. 
I can call them “my governments” for two reasons: 
1. They are mine because I bought them. 
2. I can use the plural “governments” 
because I would owe no allegiance to any one country or state, 
the USA being just one of my branch offices. 

I think my true stroke of genius is this: 
Turn the middle class, the poor, and the semi-poor 
against each other. 

All ethnic groups can blame each other for their problems. 
The unemployed can hate the homeless and the immigrants. 
Hate is such a wonderful diversion! 

None of them would be looking my way at all. 
I would be above suspicion. 
In fact, they’d look to me for leadership, wisdom, and mercy. 
Yeah, right. 

I have a lot more great plans for healthcare, prisons, 
social services, and those annoying seniors. 

I would write a book: 
“Blowing Up and Rebuilding Things for Fun and Profit”. 
So much to do! 

Life is good. 

Wait a minute! 
It’s just a dumb dream. 
Nobody would really do that stuff. 

Jack Blanchard, 
low income independent voter. 

© October 15, 2003 Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved.


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