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"Why I Never Got A Pickup Truck"
I've worn a cowboy hats and boots,
but I've never worn chaps...
except in certain private situations.
I drank beer and cussed and sang country songs,
but I've never had a pickup truck.
I've had station wagons and sports cars,
but I didn't wear my cowboy hat while driving those.
It would be like wearing socks and sandals.
Nobody ever thought I was a real cowboy anyway,
except one Indian in South Dakota.
He said "Got a cigarette, cowboy?"
I liked him right away.
Cowboys in the old western movies never had trucks either.
I always wanted to be in a western.
I would whistle,
and my horse would run right over to me and say "What?"
A good name for a western movie would be this:
"Pickalong Cavity, Frontier Dentist".
I would ride into town and ask where I can locate that there frontier dentist.
Gabby Hayes would tell me "Just over yonder, stranger,
where you see that palomino wearing dentures."
As sheriff I would go after them bushwackers.
Somebody's got to do it
or we won't have a damn bush left in the territory.
Once I thought about getting a pickup truck
and starting a low priced taxi service for hobos.
The good thing about picking up the homeless
is that you can drop them off anywhere.
Copyright © May 3, 2008 Jack Blanchard. All rights reserved.
Reprinted by permission.